I'm sorry.

Do you know what it is like to not share a soul?
Do you know what it is like to lose your best friend?
I tell myself that there is someone else out there for me, but I don't know about fate anymore.
When your all alone, everyday is eternity stuck in limbo, and there's nothing you can do about it, so you just deal. And by deal I mean drink until you forget, have that cigarette, and watch another episode of Skins. When that fails, you have a quick cry and watch some more. What can you do eh? Just keep going because it's the only thing you can do.

I need to stop returning to my own vomit for good.

The past 2 years of my life have been a waste.
I don't care how "fun" things were at first, because in the end it was not worth it.
Everyday I wake up horrified at the betrayal my heart feels, and my nightmares I experience.
I don't want this anymore. I want the memories gone. I wish they never happened. I can't fucking get away from this tormented existence.
Everyday, I see trucks drive by and think about stepping out in front of them. When I ride my bike, I don't even check for cars anymore. When I'm cooking, I'm careless with the knife. When I take a bath, I hold my breath a little longer. When I need my inhaler, I don't take it.

Whoever said "it's better to have love and lost then never been loved at all" CLEARLY suffers from some sort of mental retardation or always was the one to stop loving the other first.
I want every single one of the memories gone. Not a single one is enough to make whatever I had worth it.

I can't believe all of this has happened. Did you know, they day it happened I spent the whole morning shopping for new sexy lingerie so we could have fun before the party that night?
Did you know, your last night here I waited up the whole night for you to call? You never did. Instead you visited the bitch. You spent your last night with someone you barely know, rather than with someone who loves you. You betrayed and abandoned me. How could you hurt another human being so deeply like that? It was wrong, so wrong what you did.

I want the memories gone. It hurts to much to bare and I can only carry so much weight in my heart. I want them gone, every last one. Someone get me out of this nightmare, I want it to end so badly.

School Fees

Just going through the list of random Student Organization Fees, and I discover that I pay .20 cents to go towards "Vagina Monologues". Wtf? lmao I just hope it's not some crazy feminist group that will set fire to me if they saw this....

INCEPTION

First of all, let me just say that Inception is a fantastic movie all-together. To be honest, I had my doubts and heard the little voice inside my head say "...I may just be sitting in the theater hating all 148 minutes of this..." Despite the bad first impressions, (that leave you feeling like Christopher Nolan tried to create another version of The Matrix) your soon completely caught up in the wild adventure.

I rate it 7.5 out of 1 - 10 Leonardo DiCaprio confused eyebrow looks. (Y)

Because of the background story involving kids and a wife, it really reminded me of Shutter Island. It also made me go "really?" when his children looked nothing like him or the mother.
No doubt Leonardo is a good actor, but I really thought Arthur (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) stole the show, hands down. It definitely made me smile when he and Ellen Page are in the hotel lobby and *tehe* :)

For the artsy-folks

One of my fav artists, although lesser known, is the infamous Yung-En Chen.

http://www.misterchen.net/

I hope this isn't illegal to do, but since I found some of his older works in a file hidden on my computer, I'll upload one of my favs.

Imagine you were illiterate. What might these signs tell you?


ALIENS ARN'T ALLOWED TO STALK WOMEN
ALIENS ARN'T ALLOWED TO RIDE SEGWAYS
WOMEN CAN USE FORCE-FIELD TO REPELL ALIENS
ALIENS MUST BE CAPTURED. CATCH EM ALL!

Mi casa es tu casa.

I really like to cook, and I strongly believe the kitchen is the center of a household. I like being a hostess and welcoming friends to my home. (If only my house was a little-less intimidating to go too!) Sometimes I feel weird admitting that to people, because then I feel like the "women belong in the kitchen" stereotype, and like a loser because hardly anyone actually likes to cook.
But you know what they say, only 3 things in this world attracts people:
Music, Food, and Fire.

I learned how to make "stir-fry" at work today, and it was pretty cool. We have the sharpest knives I thought I was going to cut my fingers off. Luckily, I survived. I think it would be cool to work in the butchery, or at least just to try it.

Also, whenever I see a vegetarian* I think to myself "Every time you don't eat meat, I will eat twice my portion of meat to make up for yours" lmao. I wouldn't actually because I would get fat, but it would be funny.
Despite this, I'm still open to eating vegetarian and vegan meals.

*For the record, consumption of red meat led to the development of the human brain.