Negative Nancy

Yesterday, I went to the book club at the library. It's great. On my way home, I promised myself I would never ride the bus home alone, and I would either carry a cellphone or a can of mace. Good call. I think I made that decision because being a girl by herself on a sketchy street corner waiting 15 minutes for a bus at night is not a wise choice to make. Maybe I wouldn't have been so concerned if a random man didn't stand awkwardly beside me. The whole time I was freaking out in my mind about the random man, I didn't hear what he said to me, which turns out he was asking me if I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I do, and then he blessed me and continued chewing tobacco and spitting awkwardly a couple meters away.
Once again, I will not ride the night bus alone again.

As I got off my bus I checked behind me to make sure I was not followed (always a fear of mine). Also a fear of mine, in the dark. I have very blurry vision, and in the dark everything just morphs into one big blur. Because of this I am always extremely and over-actively cautious about going outside at night. I looked out for skunks and raccoons . I also decided if a skunk ever sprayed me, I'd kick it.

Moors, strumpets and whores, oh my!

This past year in English class we are reading great Shak-es Spear literature, Othello. This is the tragic story of a black man marrying a white woman, and being manipulated by a mentally unstable evil man.
Sad sad.

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK, DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING!
SPOILER!

Anyways, for my class we were asked to write a creative assignment about it.
Here is mine:

Othello Creative Assignment
By Laura Stephenson

Location: #123 Police Station Venice
Case: General Othello murder catastrophe
Purpose: Suspect Iago is thought to be mentally unstable

Detective Bruce:(turns on recorder) check one-two, check. Hello Iago, my name is Detective Bruce, and I’m just going to ask you some questions concerning the events of the past couple of days.

Iago: …

Detective Bruce: What was your relationship with General Othello?

Iago: Twas nothing but his loyal servant.

Detective Bruce: I’m sure you were….What was your occupation in the army?

Iago: Only a mere soldier who held Othello in the highest regard

Detective Bruce: Four people died, and you are held responsible for it.

Iago: Nay sir, only but one.

Detective Bruce: What do you mean, “only but one”?

Iago: Only Emilia’s death was my responsibility.

Detective Bruce: WHAT? You convinced Othello to kill Desdemona, and Roderigo to
kill Cassio too! That is four!

Iago: They did not have to listen to my honest opinion. I only told them my beliefs. It is their fault if they chose to follow out actions.

Detective Bruce: You should be grateful to be a married man! If only I were so lucky…
From witnesses Gratiano and Lodovico, their accounts of the disaster put you at blame. They saw you murder Emilia. Why would you kill your wife?

Iago: If I did not, my good name would be eaten away with maggots. She hateth me for no reason atall. Woman like her, spreading foul lies to other untrustworthy woman, eventually reaching thy good husbands ears. My reputation would be over from her lies. She had to die.

(Woman secretary bring in coffee, smiles at Detective Bruce then leaves)

Detective Bruce: (distant) It appears that Iago has moved farther away from me and is now talking quietly to himself…I will hold the mic closer to him…

Iago: ….hehehe the plot hath thickened, brewing a thick broth! I shall talk to this official, and leadeth him down a dark path! Hehehe….

Detective Bruce: It appears he has stopped talking to himself –Iago? I still have to ask you a couple of questions.

Detective Bruce: (sips coffee) Ahhh! Don’t you love how nice people are sometimes? Anyways, what was your motive in the destruction of these people’s lives?

Iago: I did nothing wrong, merely observe others as I did express my concern with those who I thought should know. Much like observing that woman serve coffee to other office men, when it is not her job? Methinks tis not. One would jump to conclusions.

Detective Bruce: How dare you jump to conclusions about Cindy! - I mean Secretary Cindy! Enough! What was Roderigo’s role in this incident?

Iago: Cruel Roderigo! Always seeking out new strumpets! Twas jealousy of Cassio’s favorite strumpet that made him attack. I told him twas not a good idea, but alas, he thought I twas not sincere. I only meant to prevent conflict. Liar liar! Some cannot be trusted. Although good detective, it is not my right to say this, but methinks I did observe earlier woman Cindy talk to ye, then wander over to the man with the crooked smile on his face and laugh about you.

Detective Bruce: No! That cannot be true! Don’t change the subject! So you looked out for Cassio’s well being, and Roderigo did not listen. You seem honest. Honest Iago. What did you have against Desdemona and Othello’s love?

Iago: I had only the best intentions, only to warn the General about his wife when I saw her talk to Cassio. He is a ladies man. Some woman can be misleading.

Detective Bruce: Some woman are misleading? …Cindy would never flirt with other men, when she likes me…. would she?

Secretary enters room

Secretary: Hello Detective. Would you like some doughnuts? Detective Pete said the doughnuts were delicious!

Detective Bruce: What!? You served Detective Pete doughnuts? STRUMPET!! (attacks her)

screams heard in background, recorder still left on

Iago: ….you are all my chess pieces, and I am the chess master! Hehehe…




Pretty brilliant, if I do say so myself!
p.s. At the fish store, there is a black fish with bulging eyeballs called a "Black Moor"
lulz all the way.
p.p.s
Such badass fish btw.

Sea monkeys!

Meet 'Charlie' my adopted Sea-Monkey!

Cosmic Rooster Worship

"Students at a UK grammar school used bricks to spell out a certain word for a certain bit of male anatomy (co*k), on the school's roof. Then it was spotted by satellite, in a Google Earth image, according to The Register.

The headmaster requested it be taken down. But hey, maybe the kids were just doing some kind of cosmic rooster worship?"

http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/etc/090612-curse-word-roof-spotted-from-space.html

*worships*

p.s. I do realize the above picture is of hens

Human Speech Gene

Apparently the human speech gene was given to some mice test-subjects, since their DNA is similar to humans.

"The mice with the human FOXP2 gene didn't start babbling like babies of course, but they showed changes in brain circuits that have previously been linked to human speech. The genetically altered mouse pups also showed differences in ultrasonic vocalizations they use when placed outside the comfort of their mothers' nests. But not enough is known about mouse communication to read too much into what those changes mean, Enard noted."

Since chimpanzees are so similar, I wonder why they wouldn't put it in them? Could it be that there is a possibility that chimps could actually start to have speech? (well, it wouldn't be human speech, but they could make similar sounds) Could it be that it is wrong? YES, it is wrong. In my opinion. Would it not be eerily freaky if the speech gene was put in a chimpanzee, and it soon started making people sounds? Like crying, or yelling? Then, it would be bad if the other chimps sensed a difference and excluded the mutated chimp? Or, if the chimp was not noticed as different and reproduced, then there would be more freakish chimps. Then what do you do? Do you have them neutered? Do you "dispose" of the mutated chimps, like many test labs do with their animals? That is cruel and wrong. I do believe it would be morally wrong to do this, both "disposing" and allowing an animal to have speech.
If you attach a machine to an animal that tells you what it is thinking, then that's alright, but not giving it speech. Animals should be left the way they are, how God made them. If they evolve on their own, as they have throughout the Earth's history and through natural selection, than that is right. I have come to the conclusion that the only reason they are not putting the speech gene in chimpanzees is that a) it is morally wrong and b) they would rather test on a little small animal that only knows the basics, than an animal similar to us, that have been taught sign-language, know how to communicate, and could have actual conversations if the experiment were to work.
They would rather not risk it.

CREEPY.

http://www.livescience.com/animals/090528-mice-speech-gene.html

I like big old husky bears with claws and tails and goes rawr!

I like bears! They catch fish, poop, and live outside!

I also like IWrestledABearOnce ! They like bears too!

I saw IWrestledABearOnce live in Toronto on May 16th and it was amazing! Their merch often has bears on it. My boyfriend got this shirt:


I like it better than this t-shirt of their, which reminds me of the 1985 movie, Teen Wolf. If you haven't seen this movie, you probably should. And then try car-surfing to 80's music.


Speaking of bears, my new favorite t-shirt is now my Ten Second Epic t-shirt, I got when I saw them recently live on suchandsuch date at the Casbah in Hamilton, Ontario. It has a bear on it wearing sunglasses. I'm pretty sure the new bear is either a bear, or a bear with sunglasses! (But the Teen Wolf IWABO, he's wearing kanye west shades). Hopefully I will take a new picture with my Ten Second Epic tshirt so I can show yall.
To make things even *rawr* better, the other night, as I was getting ready to go to bed, out of habit from "scary monster in closet" days, I glanced at my open closet. I was just about to go to bed when I noticed something wasn't right. There was something dark and fuzzy on the top shelf in my closet. Upon having a slight heart attack, picking up a heavy baseball bat like object (twas not a baseball bat, but a flute case) I crept towards my closet armed and ready. Instead of finding some horrible closet monster, or a large collection of bats, I found a big brown fuzzy bear. wtf.
Someone had put a big brown fuzzy teddy bear in my closet. I had never seen this teddy bear before. It scared the shit out of me. Turns out it was my dad who put it there. Now, it sits (less threatingly) on my desk. Next to a penguin and smaller penguins, a frog, and cheburashka.

MISHKA!

My boyfriend found a clothing company in New York called Mishka, which translates to "Teddy Bear" in Russian.
They have quite a few things with bears on them, but alot of eyeballs...
http://www.mishkanyc.com/

I like penguins...

Upon searching cool images (for an English summative ) I found this lucky penguin picture


Click the link below to see a collection of cool coca cola ads. Although the penguin one is cute, my favorite is the frozen truck :)

http://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2008/08/02/collection-of-cool-coca-cola-ads/

And here is a very lucky penguin!

The Lawn Mower Killer

This is a little chi who-a who-a

Last week, as I so tediously mowed the lawn, my mind began to wander. Oh, don't worry, I didn't accidently run someone over.
At first, I was really pissed off, and angry that my parents made me do it, but then I began to enjoy running over dandilions in little fits of anger. All the while looking out for tiny toads (as there are two ponds on either side of our house, and our yard is most commonly used as a pathway between the two). My thoughts wandered while my body performed almost-mechanical movements (VROOOOOM *pulls back lawn mower* VROOOOOOM *runs over dog shit* VROOOOOOOOOM *pulls back lawn mower*) I started thinking of a story my mother told me:

My mother's close friend owned 2 teacup chihuahua's. One of these chi who-a who-a's, like most others of the same breed, had problems. The finiky little thing refused to go for a walk on a leash, but would walk along side the owner. The other one (somewhat surprisingly) would walk on a leash. One day, while going the same 2 mile round-a-bout route they always go for a walk, a bigger and more useful dog scared the stupid leashless thing and it ran away. Scared shitless, it was missing for hours, as the owner and some nice civilians took time to look for it in the wooded/suburban area. After awhile, everyone gave up, and the remaining chi who-a who-a and the owner trudged back to their house, doubtlessly worrying over the fate of the other one.
Upon reaching the house, they found the leashless (and also collarless) chi who-a who-a cowering and shivering on the front porch.
Somehow, this little pathetic creature had found it's 2 mile way home. This is absolutely astounding, since their brains are half the size of a walnut. Possibly the repetitive walks along the same route had engraved itself in it's tiny little brain, forcing it out of habit (not out of actual intelligence) to be able to direct itself home.
Let's face it: Chihuahua's are hazards to society, and it's probably the most dangerous pet to own. a) because it is so small you would have to be super careful not to squish or step on it and b) if it's route home is not engraved into it's brain, they could become a tiring task for some poor mechanic to scrape fur off the bottom of a car.

While mowing the lawn, there are a couple of things to check:
- dog poop
- dog toys etc.
- pieces of trees (wood)
- watch out for lawn chairs
- animals are out of the way

Since I was checking things off my list, and thinking of my mothers story, I came up to the conclusion that it would suck if you were mowing the lawn, and didn't notice a little teacup chihuahua in the way.... And so, begin's a little story I wrote while mowing the lawn.

The Lawn Mower Killer

Kevin was a young boy, age 13 last year of elementry school. He was medium height for his age, scrawny, and covered in freckles. He was, undoubtably a geek in personality, and not that great to look at from the other kids eyes, but his mother and father loved him non the less.
He had a very dismal outlook on the possibilities of new friends in high school and the new freedom he would gain. Like all geeky kids his age, he really enjoyed World of Warcraft, Starcraft, Halo, and other videogames. His newest craze was xbox 360, and he sought after it with much whining and pleading with his parents. They said no. He already had xbox, and it was "good enough for him" in his parents eyes. The only way to get it, was to earn it himself. Near his grade 8 graduation, he began mowing his parents lawn for $10 a week. This was not enough, since he planned on spending his summer playing video games, plus buying many games along with it. He started going door-to-door asking his neighbors if he could mow their lawn for money. This proved the most successful, and he had a few people who would phone him up a few times a month and he would mow their lawn, sometimes they would be generous and pay him $25-30, as $20 was his minimum fee. He worked for a fat old woman, a chinese couple, and his elementry school bully's family.
As he mowed the lawn, and slowly developed a farmers tan, he would often mow over dandilions in anger at his predicament. It was already July, and only half way there.
Sometimes he would forget and run over small piles of dog shit, and small bugs such as butterflies, or moths. Eventually working his way up to small creatures such as frogs and toads, and the unfortunate baby squirrel. He had a knack for directing and moving the lawn mower at a fast speed towards unsuspecting creatures, ignoring their frantic efforts to get away. As it happened one day, he was mowing the fat old woman's lawn, he noticed both of her dogs- a doberman and a chihuahua- were out in the yard. She lad left them outside by accident when she went out. The boy noticed how the doberman was always being scolded for trying to attack the chihuahua, and he remembered how annoying that woman was, sitting outside with her t.v. on and eating some sort of fattening food. He didn't understand how she could possibly hear the t.v. with him mowing the lawn, or why she would always leave the dogs outside for him to politely ask her to put them inside, as they were a hazard.
Not only did he have to watch out for the lawn mowers cord, but now watch out for a furry thing getting in his way. It annoyed him. So on this day, so on this particular day, a day in which that beast of a woman was out, with the little chihuahua dog running infront of his lawn mower-VROOOOOOOOOOOM- He never liked that dog anyway.
The remains were dragged away and put in some over grown bushes, and washed down with the garden hose. He figured the woman has never stepped past her lawn chair to walk in the back yard in the past 5 years.
He continued on with his lawn mowing business. He read in newspapers that a doberman attacks and killed a chihuahua, and was seen eating the remains. It would not be put down, but sentenced to wear a mouth-cage at all times outside of the house. This was fine with the boy, since now the woman would yell at her remaining dog, instead of him.
It was now august, business was slow, he still did not have his xbox 360, but was very close-he only needed $40 more, and his parents could not afford to give him any money. His family was moving in a few weeks.
He got a call. It was the bully's family, asking for him to mow their lawn, before their family went on vacation for the rest of the summer. The boy said sure, he needed the money. When he got there, there stood the mother and father just about to drive off, on their 15th aniversary-which they would be going on alone. The boy was handed $20, and left standing alone in the driveway watching their car drive away. He got to work. Wearing gloves to protect him from blistering hands, he found their lawn mower and was on his way. He found himself in a calming rhythm minding his own business, when alone came his torment of 3 years. Jaimy, the bully came strolling in the yard, with bags of booze and alcohol bottles. Being a single child, and without the guidence of older siblings, the bully had obviously wasted his food money for the week on alcohol for a party. A party the boy knew, everyone from his school was going to. Everyone except him. He then began to taunt the boy, starting out with "Who's playing WOW today?-OH RIGHT! No one will be, except YOU and other geeks!" then moved on with the object on the boys mind "Hey guess what fugly loser? IM having a party tonight- and Suzy will be there. Remember Suzy? She's really hot. I saw you looking at her all this year. Guess what? She's mine. Everyone's going tonight-everyone except you! HA HA HA."
This agrevated the boy, causing him to push the lawn mower very hard. He looked at the bully with bloodlust out the corner of his eyes. He was waiting for the right opportunity. It had arrived. The bully, just recently 14 and unaccostomed to how awkward it is to hold several bottles (of various shapes and kinds of booze) at one time is, dropped a few. These landed safely in the newely cut grass. With a few curse words, he bent down to pick them up, mistakingly facing the other way. The boy quickly made his way over to the bully.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOM. VROOM. VROO-O-O-O-OOOOOM. VROOM.
In 20 minutes it was done. The remains hidden in the bushes, along with the lawnmower, and the bottles of alcohol. The boy managed to salvage $50 from the bully's mutilated corpse. He must have gotten money from his parents to spend on food while they were away, and spent most of it on illegals. The boy positioned the lawnmower over the shards and bits of body, and quickly left the scene.
In newspapers a month later, it was started that a young boy, age 14 was found a month later after a freak lawnmowing accident. He reportedly was under the influence (something unknown to the boy at the time) and had attempted to mow the lawn himself, ending up tangled and killing himself. No prints were found on the lawn mower except for the deceased, who had cut the lawn in the past. No evidence was found to claim anyone else guilty. The boy, Kevin, was never suspected, because he and his family moved away that very day, due to "good luck" where they were able to move into their new house earlier than previously thought. They moved hundreds of miles away to northern Idaho, leaving their suburban town in South Carolina for good. After his adventures in the lawn mowing business, Kevin ended up getting his xbox 360. Eventually, he ended up going to university, and meeting a girl named Suzy, who coincidently went to an elementry school in South Carolina too.



p.s. No Animals Were Harmed, in the true story and fiction story. And as for chihuahua's, even though they are dangers to society, they are unbelievable adorable! ^_^

The Blind Leading the Blind

In class today, from my classmates perspectives it would appear that I was looking shrewedly at everything around me. That however was not the case, as I forgot my glasses today. I sat beside my boyfriend copying his notes, while he in turn was writing them down from the over-head note my teacher (so graciously) had given us. "I can't see what's on the board." I said, with much squinting. "Well neither can I!" exclaimed my boyfriend, also squinting at the board. "It's like the blind leading the blind."
hmmm...
well, what about the blind leading the blind deaf?
or the deaf leading the blind mute?
or the blind deaf leading the blind quadriplegic?
or Helen Keller leading a group of children into a busy street?

okay now that's just cruel.

Speaking of language barriers and communication issues-it is a very interesting topic.
Helen Keller was deaf and blind, and learned to communicate etc. A movie was made about her called "The Miracle Worker"

A young girl was once found in a forest, having never been in society except for living with her twin sister and mother. She was introduced into society after her mother passed away. Her sister had died years earlier when the girl was still a child. What's interesting is that the girl did not speak any known language. Essentially, she had created her own language with her twin and only spoke broken English because of her mothers distorted speech from her face being paralyzed. This suggests that it is very easy to create one's own language.
A movie called "Nell"(1994, staring Jodie Foster) was created about this event.

Scientists are trying to prove that language is programed in humans.
The fact that a person can make up a whole new language with barely any knowledge of others existing is pretty impressive.
"Washoe invented her own sign for 'bib'. since the Gardners did not know the proper sign - and Washoe's invented sign turned out to be close to the correct Ameslan. Lucy, one of Fout's chimps, coined her own name for radishes - 'hurt-cry fruit' - and she also calls watermelons 'candy-drink' or 'fruit drink', even though she knows the correct Ameslan sign for watermelon"
(page 284)

http://books.google.ca/books?id=fjPWqXi9WQsC&pg=PA285&lpg=PA285&dq=gorilla+and+watermelon+candy+fruit&source=bl&ots=aGhYvCOHRG&sig=WTroeZZ7z8Aa3GfkyFjLvcTSc48&hl=en&ei=Eb0USsvVEeagmAf95ZjoAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4#PPA285,M1

This creation of new words in a species extremely similar in DNA to our own species is really astounding.

Watermelons!
http://www.collegeotr.com/syracuse_university/watermelon_the_sexyback_of_fruit_9732

And now....Chimps AND Watermelons! :D

http://diverseeducation.wordpress.com/2009/03/04/of-watermelons-chimps-and-cowards/

Plants

Finally a new post, 2 years later....

The other day (under illegal circumstances) I was deep in thought. As I passed by houses, I noticed the trees around them. I thought it foolish to plant trees so close to a house, where when it gets old it will fall and crush the home, leaving the family sad to see their possessions broken and smashed. "Who in their right mind, would do that?-apparently many people, since everyone on this street has big trees on their front lawns looming dangerously over their houses." It made me angry that trees would grow where houses were to be put. At the same time I felt sadness for the magnificent trees who were cut down for buildings.
As if turning on a light bulb, a new thought dawned on me...
"Wait a second...plants were here first. It's their right to grow. Plants should be allowed to grow wherever the fuck they want!"

This means if they so chose to grow and turned into a big beautiful tree (or even in mini tree stage), if a building so happened to be built in the trees area, it should not be cut down for the building. The building should be constructed around the tree. With appropriate building space around the tree for it to grow. Think of the possibilities. It would open up a new business and create new architectural designs, and soon would be very popular with the increasing number of people who want to do this planet some good. Here is a picture of a plant growing where it wants.