The past 2 years of my life have been a waste.
I don't care how "fun" things were at first, because in the end it was not worth it.
Everyday I wake up horrified at the betrayal my heart feels, and my nightmares I experience.
I don't want this anymore. I want the memories gone. I wish they never happened. I can't fucking get away from this tormented existence.
Everyday, I see trucks drive by and think about stepping out in front of them. When I ride my bike, I don't even check for cars anymore. When I'm cooking, I'm careless with the knife. When I take a bath, I hold my breath a little longer. When I need my inhaler, I don't take it.

Whoever said "it's better to have love and lost then never been loved at all" CLEARLY suffers from some sort of mental retardation or always was the one to stop loving the other first.
I want every single one of the memories gone. Not a single one is enough to make whatever I had worth it.

I can't believe all of this has happened. Did you know, they day it happened I spent the whole morning shopping for new sexy lingerie so we could have fun before the party that night?
Did you know, your last night here I waited up the whole night for you to call? You never did. Instead you visited the bitch. You spent your last night with someone you barely know, rather than with someone who loves you. You betrayed and abandoned me. How could you hurt another human being so deeply like that? It was wrong, so wrong what you did.

I want the memories gone. It hurts to much to bare and I can only carry so much weight in my heart. I want them gone, every last one. Someone get me out of this nightmare, I want it to end so badly.